Author: Sherry Carver (Page 1 of 5)

Every Day To Joy

August 29, 2025 /

I’m finding my way every day to joy ~~ even in the midst of the daily news that makes me weep.  I choose to make my mornings positive and filled with the curiosity that has become my core. I believe that there is good news the majority of every day.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”  Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning

I surround myself with people who generate enthusiasm and an energy that keeps them moving. I never feel too old to learn or change my direction of thought.

I am not tolerant though for the way of the politician these days.  I need to listen to what is being said and move forward rather than remaining in my past judgment of them.  Most of all I need to see results that are infused with kindness toward differences.  I want anyone who needs a helping hand to get a leg up and then navigate with pride toward their independence.  The trend continues with those who were helped, helping others not only monetarily but by example.

If I wallow in the “what is lost”, I will never find joy.  I must wake up to “what is found” and take in the comforting sounds of the life I have created.

Find The Light In Your Day

 

The Journey to Myself

June 1, 2025 /

The Journey

My sister gave me a great visual when I felt overwhelmed by others — you’ve always been the rock, it is time to be a pebble and journey the rivers — just let others troubles pass you by.

I just turned 70 and I’m ready to be free from worry. Left to themselves everyone will survive. Now they think they might need my listening ear and encouragement but it is a habit not a need.  The front door is always open but I may not be home.

Travel is the great educator.  No matter for a day or a month, it will give me energy.  My greatest asset — curiosity — will lead the way.  I like meeting new people and hearing their stories.  I will never run out of people to meet or places to go.  

I am not scared, I’m ready.  Time goes so fast when you are sitting still and looking back. Looking forward to the future opens up windows of thought and possibility. I can’t wait to see what I come up with.

 

I Can Choose What My Day Is Like

December 27, 2024 /

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”   Maya Angelou

Regret is a feeling of failure for me.  A bucket list gives me hope.  Waking up happy is a sign of confidence. Thinking about yourself first is a sign of growth.  Being able to be alone is a sign of liking myself. I can decide where I put my energy. A peaceful life is learning to let others be themselves — learning that control of others is not a goal.

Where do I fit with my dreams — my hopes — my attitude about myself.

There are certain duties I cannot ignore.  Spending my time alone all day would become unproductive and monotonous. A mix of alone and people time is what I crave. My early years and adult life has been focused on making sure everyone around me is ok.  The shock of my life was when I realized that no one wanted me to do this for them.  My way does not help others live their best life.  My energy has been wasted.  I felt empty at the end of the day.  No one changed their lifestyle or habits based on my words.  When I spent my day in others lives, I never had to open my soul and see myself.

I don’t want to waste any more time worrying about what I should be doing.  Everyone in my life will be okay finding their own  path.  It is not my responsibility to make sure success is a guarantee for others. My children are grown, my husband is living a full retired life and our parents are gone.  I have a flexible work schedule and make sure that my income matches our expenses — debt is not an option at this point of our lives.

Time goes by fast and at the end of the day — I want to know that I enjoyed it.  I said before that I need to exert my energy on myself.   What a concept to have a choice for my day each morning.

Adventure, Fun and Laughter

 

 

 

Happiness Lessons

June 16, 2024 /

Is there anyone happier than Goldie Hawn?  My whole life I have had a wish to meet her.  I think being in her presence would be such a gift.  She seems to have the magic touch when it comes to positivity and joy.

She has been making the podcast circuit and hearing her stories just makes me admire her more.  My favorite statement from her — “I want to solve a problem, I don’t want to keep talking about it.”

To me, there are few people in the world who think this way.   There is too much noise in the world — creativity is drowned out by all the media ideas — which to me is just designed to make money, not build a successful life.

Goldie Hawn’s Mind Up Program  is designed  to address the stress that kids deal with every day and to reduce their feelings of anxiety.   I know for sure that my childhood gave me a great beginning to developing my imagination.  I will say though, every generation believes their childhood was the best way to grow up.

Stress and anxiety lived deep within me once I reached my twenties.  I was not confident and my lack of life experience gave me nothing to hang on to.  My choices were right for the moment and my best lesson was that nothing was a mistake just a series of forward moves. I needed a mentor —

Who Is That Person For You?

I wish one thing — that I had learned meditation and a way to focus on what my goal was for the future.  I had no plan, Without looking forward, it meant that anxiety became my friend.

I needed to believe in myself and not depend on anyone to make me happy.  Lessons learned — looking back I know that my journey was exactly what led me to the joy that I feel now.

A Fulfilled Life

March 26, 2024 /

What would happen if you came across a description of a person looking for a job that matched everything you might need to keep your life fulfilled?  Instead of dating apps, there should be “making life better” apps.  Just imagine the possibilities.  It wouldn’t necessarily have to be something you could afford, just meeting each other’s goals at different times of life.  Here are my ideas:

  • Chef in training who needs referrals for a family who never have time to cook dinner
  • Retired professor who is bored and would offer extra tutoring to failing college students
  • Grandparents who do not live near their family to pick up kids from school and help with homework
  • Beginning author to write down lesser known family stories while hoping to find an agent to publish their book
  • Athletes who no longer play to organize a Physical Education Program at Elementary Schools

I know the list could be endless.  What a positive move it would be to match people who could offer each other experiences that move them along in life…… Who would be your perfect fit?

Create a Garden

My Blog — My Story

February 16, 2024 /

 

Is There A Book In Me?

I have often thought of writing a book.  The problem is that I do not have the attention span to stay with one project for that long.  I look around and wonder what else I can investigate.  I prefer to accept that I have a curious mind as opposed to “Bright Shiny Object Syndrome.”  This is my own definition of my brain.  It is normal for me to change subjects constantly during the day.

Outside My Door — There Is Adventure

It is so tough for my family to follow me in conversation.  Luckily, I smile a lot so they at least see that I am happy.  The best conclusion to my day is one that is filled with new facts and a new set of subjects to master.

My Brain Each Day

So — I made a discovery this morning while sitting here with my thoughts at my favorite coffee shop — My blog can be my memoir.  I have no trouble focusing on an essay that comes freely from my brain to my fingers.  I can type faster than I can think (thank you high school typing class) — I can edit as I go and hit publish and poof it’s done.  Another chapter.  I don’t have to follow any order and every decade of my life is sprinkled throughout my focus for that day.  I work through my angel side and my demon side with every thought.

I would like to thank my mother for being a role model for writing.  She left a book of thoughts which give me comfort when I miss her.  I would like to thank my dad for my smile — when he was happy it was electric.

I thank my sister and brother for never letting me forget that I was the bossy one but acknowledge that I am always there to take care of things and encourage them — they are my rocks.

My husband, kids and grandkids are my reasons for joy.  When I am down, I can look at their faces and they reflect back the positivity that I have brought to their world.  I must never forget that they deserve to see my smile— just as I loved to see my dad smile.

Oh but wait — I am reading about artists, I need to get home to do a legal document for work, do I have everything I need for Kinsley’s Valentine’s Day Dance today, what will the weather bring this weekend? Like I said, Bright Shiny Object Syndrome — I am smiling.  I’m never far from my 18-year old self who had the whole world ahead of her.

Eighteen is Magical

 

Overwhelm Cannot Be Ignored

February 2, 2024 /

Everything In It’s Place

I know when I am overwhelmed.  I get angry too quickly and start cleaning like a maniac.  I snap at anyone who gets in my way and mutter under my breath that without me no one would survive.

The resolve is that I can feel it coming.  There are weeks that it is unavoidable to say no and the loss of control is unnerving.  Maybe it just takes getting frustrated to get me back on track.

Where does that feeling come from that says — only I can do things right?  Why is it so tough to adopt the mantra “If one day is not long enough, there is always the next day.”  Why do I need so much praise during this time that I feel like I’m falling apart.

I learned to create organization at a young age. It meant my outer world was taken care of at the expense of insight into my inner world.  I did not learn how to connect with my emotional self as a young girl and adult — the outer appearances were more important.  In my head overwhelm causes me to feel inadequate and I rush to make the outer world whole again.  Once everything is in place, I can feel relaxed and ready to take on my responsibilities.

My behavior is not fair.  I leave the people I care about the most, feeling  betrayed.  They know that I have always treasured being kind and I do not show kindness during my hurricane periods.  I must accomplish goals I set every day and prove that I am cherished.

All Smiles

The answer is NOT to keep busy.  That has been my avoidance “go to.”  The remedy is to slow down, finish what I can and realize that a good day is acknowledging all around me who create my happy world. The feeling of appreciation does not come from always doing and rescuing.  It comes from seeing everyone I touch, smile and feel at ease.  I have to learn to put fun ahead of tasks more often.

Learn to Play — Be a Kid

 

Creative Ways To Find A Life Purpose

January 19, 2024 /

My thoughts always center around women helping women.  I want to create gatherings with women of all ages to offer support, ideas and laughter.

 

Fun-Support-Laughter

When I think back to my grandmothers and my own mother, I know that there were times that their unfulfilled dreams were realized within the women groups they surrounded themselves with.  I always loved the laughter that came out of the conversations I listened to and tried hard to always be in the middle of the gatherings.

Sharing Ideas

Listening is something I am good at.  I have an innate curiosity to understand how people got to this moment in time.  I am an encourager to not hold back and to find a way to make challenges become reality.

I have lived this — I went back to college and graduated with my bachelor degree at age 51.  Five years later I trained and ran a half marathon.  I needed to prove to myself that I could start something hard and keep at it until I completed it.

I want to spread positivity and give permission to women of any age who feel stuck and unfulfilled that no matter how hard or impractical an idea is — just try.

Keep The Door Open

My Mother — A Gift I Didn’t Realize Until Now

September 24, 2023 /

Glennon Doyle to Oprah Winfrey……

“‘Hello my friend, my sister, my example, I’m sitting on a balcony on Cayman Island and right at this moment writing an essay about the word mother, what that word really means, how it’s less to me a fixed identity we can be or not be and more an energy we can offer or not offer. The essay is about how some of us who can check the box mother never really learn how to offer mothering love and how others of us who don’t check the box, harness it and offer it widely and wildly. The essay is about how much better off the world would be if we gathered up mothering love and used it like a floodlight instead of a pointed laser aimed only at the few we’ve been assigned.

As I’m writing this essay on the balcony, my sister just sent me a text that says, ‘G, Oprah’s mother died. She was 83. I wanted you to know.’ I just got that text a minute ago. I would never presume to guess what your relationship was like, how complex it was and is to be your mother’s daughter, what your feelings are this week, what your feelings have been or will be. I just wanted to say, that you are my example of how to gather up mothering love and use it as a floodlight to illuminate and warm the world. You are my and the world’s best example of grace, which means that we can somehow give what we’ve never even received. I don’t know much, but from everything you bravely say and kindly don’t say, I’ve gathered that you didn’t get the mothering love you deserved and needed as a little girl and a grown girl.

To me, that is what makes you a miracle. It is a miracle that somehow you took the broken pieces that she put in your hands, all of them and you spun them into gold and opened your hands wide and offered that gold back to the world. Which is not just a gift to the world, it is a gift directly back to your mother, because you worked with what she gave you, ensured that her legacy through you is gold. With your help, your mother’s legacy is gold. What a gift. If there is a Heaven, she can see that now. She can see that her miraculous daughter somehow, somehow turned her offerings to gold. God, bet she’s amazed and grateful. Well done, good faithful, miraculous, badass, servant. In your corner forever.’

Sometimes too many words can make a story impossible to understand.  I have tried for years to explain to myself and to others how I felt about my mother.  I faulted her for her behavior many times but I know that she was a very misunderstood person navigating a complicated world.  Glennon Doyle gave me clarity on how I can love and thank her without a lifelong sadness that I did not get what I hoped for.  I got more than I hoped for, I just had to wait until she was gone to appreciate her soul.

My mother put her broken pieces in my hand and helped me see myself as she saw me.  She understood my need to express myself.  She would sit quietly and watch me dramatize my emotional self. There were times she tried to keep me still and I now realize she was teaching me to listen. She brought music to my life and taught me to appreciate the words and that they can sometimes mirror feelings and dry my tears.  To this day, when stressed, I play piano music with the vision of her playing while I lay down on the floor next to her.

Mom’s Barn

In her dark days, when she reached for a drink to soothe her broken heart, her pen and paper gave her a voice where words were inadequate.  Reading her stories carefully, I unlocked the mystery of why she was so sad.  She took the parts of her life that she chose carefully and made them whole but died peacefully with her secrets of how many had betrayed her innocence and longing for parental love.

Her legacy is now clear. She listened and was kind.  She found a way to say what was so hard to accept through her music and writing. On one of her last days, I walked up to her and smiled wide — she opened her eyes and saw me — she knew me and I realized that she had all along.

 

 

My Life Needs Structure

September 13, 2023 /

DAYDREAMS

In my daydreams I imagine every day just waking up with no plan, nothing to do.  Let the day take me where I want it to go.  No stress, no calls, no responsibility.  No one needs me, no one interrupts my thoughts and the house just gets cleaned if I feel like it.

Then I am jolted back to reality and realize that would not be as wonderful as it sounds.

STRUCTURE

Structure keeps me engaged and gives me purpose.  Being needed for my expertise or ideas is a great feeling of self satisfaction.  Cleaning the house gives me the time to organize and renew it’s function.  A clean house is so much fun to walk around in.  Having a place to go every day keeps me from procrastination.

I’m starting a class to engage others who might be feeling the need for structure in their lives.  No matter what the circumstance, it can always be a mood lifter to know someone needs what you have to offer.   Change is so difficult and getting stuck in a daily loop of “nothing much matters, I can do it tomorrow” are words that lack any joy.

VARIETY

I also need variety to my days.  I have set up my schedule to be flexible and fluid.  I set a loose schedule at the law office but get the work done. I can take a substitute teaching job if I can fit it into my week.  I can schedule a weekend trip on a whim.

I need exercise in my week at least 5 days.  If not, I start to lose the motivation to keep it up.  Results come slower at my age but it is a true statement that the endorphins really do bring a great feeling.  Going to the gym is tough some days but I walk out saying “I’m so glad I went.”  I live by the mantra — just do something, it’s better than doing nothing.

HAPPY PLACES

I have identified a few “happy” places in my life.  My favorite coffee shop offers me a respite from sitting in the house.  I walk in to my favorite iced green tea, air conditioning (or the fireplace) and friendly people who call me by name.  This small town feeling in a community is life affirming.

I also love our backyard.  It is calm and peaceful and gives me a feeling of belonging to something bigger than me.  Watching animals, trees, plants and weather live together is a lesson that I love to watch.  My patio offers a comfortable place to write and just reconnect with my soul.

Driving is peaceful for me — I recently got a new car with amazing power and “car play” lets me listen to whatever I choose.  That is a huge benefit of technology! Music can just elevate my mood more than anything else — especially the songs from my high school years.  It brings me back to that girl who had a future only she could design.

CHOICES

The daydream of nothing to do has passed through my brain and while I still get overwhelmed at times, creating my life does not have to be pressure filled.  It comes down to choices — it has taken years to find a peaceful balance.  Saying “no” makes me happy.

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