Alone Days For Mom

Every now and then I find the need for an alone day.  My life is very structured at this moment and I feel happy to break free  and have a day with no particular plan.

I think my entire family gets a signal from the universe when I pack up my IPad and head to my favorite coffee shop to write.  They follow me there — they want to be a part of my day.  How can I turn that down? I like talking to them one on one outside of the house.  They feel heard when it is just me without the interruptions that happen at home.  They are there to absorb my energy and not rush the conversations. I value these times more than they will ever know.

I learned a valuable tool with my family relationships.  Don’t give away every detail — leave them wanting more facts/ideas/stories.  Too many words get lost on my kids and husband.  They are looking for fresh takes on life and a back and forth discussion — not an entire history of my life and how I made it to this point.  Listening is the key to keeping them close.  Silence allows for full thoughts to be spoken and heard.

There is the inevitable break when I know they are done.  A look at a watch , a deep breath or a move away from the table is my signal.  I have learned to let them go at that moment.  Leave them wanting a next time — leave them walking away with a new perspective — leave them knowing they are valued and loved.

Transitions are hard for me.  I don’t like to let go of the moment.  My close relationships are with my husband and kids because they give me honest feedback and know me well.  Other relationships are pivotal and are tied to sharing common interests.  I have been burned many times when I divulge too much and gave more than was necessary or wanted. I would rather spend time alone than feel hurt or rejected simply for being me.  Is that what you call growing up? Content? Feeling at Peace?

I don’t need to prove my worth to them.  I feel it.  I see it in their eyes.  Time is going fast.  It’s not always the words that are remembered but the feelings from the moments that are cherished on both sides of the conversation.